These things are great. I mean what CAN’T you do with a MAC-10? Available in .45acp and 9mm, these will have any criminal that tries to break into your house wetting himself in no time! What vacation/wedding/divorce/beer run would be the same without it? Stupid washing machine broken again? Perforate it over 1,000 times in a minute with one of these bad boys and I bet it’ll never be the same! Dog chew up your favorite shoes? Perforate it! Can’t get your bottle of Hop Stoopid open? Well actually, don’t use it on bottles of Hop Stoopid, that’d be a shame.
Hop Stoopid
And the name says it all. More hops than your body can tolerate at any one time, so it must be consumed slowly. There are unsubstantiated rumors of people trying to smoke this beer, and I urge you fair citizen, don’t. Do however pick up one of these puppies as quickly as you can, and prepare to induce a hop stooper unlike any you’ve experienced before. The beer comes in at a paltry 104 million IBU’s (intenational bad-ass units) and pour slowly because one in 3 bottles has a fist in it. It is truly the Chuck Norris’ Beard of beers.
If you like hoppy beers, prepare to be amazed by Bell’s Hopslam ale. I recently described this the epitome of an IPA with extra hops and a hint of blonde flavor. The hops are a bit overpowering at first but smooth throughout the finish. I’m not going to go in to a long description about this but suffice it to say, just pick it up if you can still find it. Here’s what the brewery has to say:
A biting, bitter, tongue bruiser of an ale. With a name like Hopslam, what did you expect?
Link | ABV: 10.0%. | States Available: FL, IN, KY, MI, MN, MO, NC, ND, OH, PA, VA, WI.
Allagash Oddysey is an ale aged in oak barrels, similar to whiskey or wine, and parts in stainless steel barrels which are later combined. The different aging processes and wheat combine to form a very unique beer. Recommended food pairings are almond crusted chicken and steak. Odyssey will go well with lighter desserts as well, such as crème brulee or white chocolate.
Odyssey is the second edition in our Barrel Aged series. It is a dark, 10% ABV wheat beer. We age a portion of the beer in New American Medium Toast Oak, and a portion in stainless steel for more than six months. We then blend the two different portions of beer to taste. Finally we bottle condition, adding additional yeast and Candi sugar.
Link | Ratebeer
You can’t properly call yourself a beer geek unless you’re drinking your beer at around 53°. That’s why you want, nay, that’s why you need an infrared thermometer. With a freaking laser pointer. This is a device with many uses. First and foremost, you can accurately get an idea of how cold your beer is. Second, you can do that from 50 feet away if your aim is any good. You can use the laser pointer aspect to mess with your dog or cat. The possibilities are, quite literally, endless.
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Brasserie Achouffe is a little gem of a Belgian brewery. They make only 5 different beers and each of them are top notch. N’ice Chouffe is the darkest of the bunch and the spices and flavors give a beer with this much ABV (10%) a surprisingly smooth finish. Best served in a goblet
or oversized wine glass. Description from the brewery:
The N’ICE CHOUFFE is a strong dark beer that will warm you up during the winter months. It is spiced (with thyme and curaçao) and a light hop taste, a well-balanced beer. The N’ICE CHOUFFE is unfiltered, and re-fermented in the bottle as well as in the keg.
Link | Buy
Possibly one of the all time best named breweries, Hooker has recently seen wider distribution. Alright fine, the full name is Thomas Hooker, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. Hooker Blonde Ale is a smooth golden blonde ale that isn’t over-powering. This is a very drinkable beer that clocks in at 4.8% ABV.
Thomas Hooker Blonde is our most easily drinkable brew. It’s a brilliant gold, clean cream ale with a smooth flavor. Fermented at cooler temperatures, the flavor is accentuated by a subtle malt sweetness and a delicate crispness from American and Czech hops. Hooker Blonde is our most broadly appealing style – enjoyed equally by the dedicated and the new micro drinker.
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If you’re looking for a light ale to have with a meal this summer, check out Brooklyn Summer Ale. This is an ale that’s going to go equally well with a burger as it will with fish. It has a definite English kick and a citrus/floral aroma. This isn’t the hoppiest of beers coming in at only 4.5% but it’s definitely a crowd pleaser.
Brooklyn Summer Ale is a modern rendition of the “Light Dinner Ales” brewed in England throughought the 1800’s right up until the 1940’s. They were also called “luncheon ales” or even “family ales,” because they were refreshing and flavorful without being too heavy. We brew our Brooklyn Summer Ale from premium English barley malt, which gives this light bodied golden beer a fresh bready flavor. German and American hops lend a light crisp bitterness and a citrus/floral aroma, resulting in a beer with a very sunny disposition.
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This just in: If you’re near the Dogfish Head Milton Brewery head on in to pick up some of their Sah’tea brew because it definitely won’t last long (maybe a week or so). From the Dogfish site:
A modern update on a 9th century Finnish proto-beer. Brewed with rye, we caramelize the wort with white hot river rocks, then ferment it with a German Weizen yeast. In addition to juniper berries foraged directly from the Finnish country-side we added a sort of tea made with black tea, cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and black pepper. The spicing is subtle and balanced and Sahtea is a highly-quaffable, truly-unique brew with a full-mouth feel.
This might be in stock in a few weeks at your local beer store. We’ll keep you posted.
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